i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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