it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
