Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Terrible idea I love it
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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