I'm jealous of your bromance
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
