some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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