there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
