life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
