every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I am mentally ready for anal.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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