Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
