you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
