So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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