Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
