that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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