Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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