At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
