i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
