I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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