Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
