I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
