I wish I could teleport
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
