my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
