so explain again why im purple
no
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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