Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
