pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
