Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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