Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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