Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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