Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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