when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
