Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
