That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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