i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
