I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
