it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
