So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
