Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
