Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
