Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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