That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
