Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
