Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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