then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
