All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
