forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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