the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
