I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
