You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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