Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
