So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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