I can tuck mytits in my pants
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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