I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
