Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
